Bad Credit Mortgages

Bad Credit Mortgages - Bad To The Bone

Even though you happen to have bad credit, you can still be eligible for mortgages. Don't let a few past mistakes keep you down in your quest to own a home. Owning a home is every American's birthright. 40 acres and a mule and all that. Even though no one ever got their 40 acres or their mule, you can still get your bad credit mortgages. It's in the Constitution, actually--under one of the Amendments. We can't remember which one because we're high right now, but it's there. It says, quote, "All men shall be eligible for bad credit mortgages, no matter how bad their credit is. Government bears no natural right to not allow everyone to own a home." Could they spell it out for you any more clearly? As a natural born citizen, you can get a bad credit mortgage. Just go down to your local lending office, show them your social security card, and wait for the loans to flow in like wine. Holla!

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It was Sean "Puff Daddy/P.Diddy/Puffy/Dorkface/Hammer/Will Smith" Combs who said it best, when he said, "Derrr." His sentiments regarding bad credit mortgages touched the hearts of the nation. We all shed a tear that day. Good ol' Puff. And thanks to Sir Daddy, we can all run around like drunk children snatching up bad credit mortgages where ever we may find them, like in Super Mario Bros. where you head-butt bricks and get coins. If life could be like that there would be no reason for evil such as the internet, because nobody would ever be self-loathing or depressed enough to sit inside burning their eyes to goo by staring at a screen all day. Imagine a world like that. Well that's how you'll feel (the Super Mario thing) if you get bad credit mortgages. We're so confident that you'll be happier that we will give you your money back. That's right, we'll refund your money. So what are you waiting for? Let us refund your money today.

Everything you always wanted to know about bad credit mortgages

Speaking of Puff Daddy, what ever happened to him? Is he still trying to rap? Has he really resigned himself to thinking he's a politician and walking around in his Italian suits like he's dressed up as Gotti for Halloween? Is he really strung out on bad credit mortgages in a flea bag hotel in Hollis like the internet rumors say? Thank God for internet message boards, aye guys? How else could we act smart and tough and funny all at the same time. We have a lot to prove about ourselves. We have a lot to say about ourselves. If not for message boards, how would anyone know how awesome we are? Anyway, none of this has anything to do with bad credit mortgages. None of this.

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